Obsolete

Its funny how one becomes obsolete in some one elses eyes. The drop of a hat you are no longer important. People think I am blind. People probably think I don't catch on. But I do. Its true that I can be very air headed and forget little things. But when it comes to people, I have a very honed skill. Lately I have realized how little it means for people to have other people in their lives. I hate that, that is so very much like using somebody. The older I get the more I hate civilization. It only knows how to use and get what they need out of somebody. Go forth and fuck every single person you can up. Consider only your feeling and your feeling only. It isn't a good idea to actually really give a shit about somebody.

I don't want to be part of this stupid rat race. That's what it feels like. A stupid rat race that I can't seem to be part of. The younger people are the more they seem to let whims take them where ever they want them to go. And this is why I wish I was not young. I have had way to many whims and far too many encoutners which left me dry and hurt. Am I blaming anybody? Hell no. I brought it on myself. No matter tho I will live my life the way I see fit.

I want to go camping. I want to rock climbing. I want to go to Mexico and see what the big deal is about Mexico. I want to go visit lots of Europe, Middle East, etc. But it takes a little hard work and some patience from me. I don't care if stupid people come my way. They will eventually drop away from me. I will not let them stick to me. They can pretend to have character and be good all they want. I will not live a lie. I will not let my eyes get the better of me.

This rant was brought to you by being fed up. I hate meeting people who have no character straight through. They think they have it but no way.


Ileana