ACTIVIST FALLEN FROM GRACE??!!!!!

As I am sitting this morning at my little breakfast nook outside of my apartment, I am reading stuff on my laptop. Ironically enough I am reading about people who are angry, people that are still trying to make a difference, people that give a shit. I am ofcourse talking about those "crazy" activists and all their "rousing, sticking their nose where it doesn't belong" people. I remember being that way.

And what am I doing? I am currently trying to stick with a job. Though I am still crazy enough to be considered an activist. Because honestly in order to be an activist, you do have to be a little crazy. And why must it be that way? Because if you are crazy it gives you a certain power, a certain strength if you will, a power that one does not get while following the crowd, your local mass media, your local corrupt politicians, and local walmart.

Where I am going with this? Even though not so well written this peace is about... this piece is really about the person I used to be. I used to be one of the those "rousing, sticking where your nose doesn't belong" person. And now when I read about the stuff my sister does. The efforts the "rebels" still make to bring a second opinion to the table. In all my years, and experience with activism, apart from sometimes aggressive forms of consciousness, are really about one thing. Its about making sure you are viewing issues from more than one perspective. Thankfully I still have that ability. And thankfully that is one aspect of my personality. Dual thinking has become part of my personality.

And no I am not patting myself on the back or am happy with this by any means. But in a way I think of it this way. All of my teenage years were spent "rousing" and "sticking where my nose didn't belong" so now I can spend a little time on me. On making sure I still have enough love for those around me, making sure I don't end up a bitter old lady with 100 cats, and making sure that when I start having my own kids I can teach them and raise them to be good loving souls.

I am worried about what I put out. Kind of like Karma if you will. I am hoping that if I put enough good "karma" out to those around me, "the world will be a better place."

Ok stepping off of that always funny image that comes into my head when people mention "my soap box." I imagine a little podium, much like one that a director of an orchestra would use, and somebody just stepping down being very proud of themselves having a very zen moment. Yes folks I actually went there. So much for being deep.


Ileana