One minute thought

How is it possible to feel some ones love from so far away while you can barely feel some ones love that which you have touched and hugged? How is it that just the sound of that person's voice can comfort you and make you feel wanted more than that of a person you have looked in the eye and laughed with? How heartbreaking can it be when you come these realizations. For me heartbreak has come to mean an end to a vicious cycle. A cycle even tough comforting, not where I was ment to be. Not the way I was ment to treat myself. Not the way I am supposed to be allowed to love myself. I choose life. I choose to look up smile and allow the beauty that I see in the world come through. I Keana Costescu choose to smile and allow myself to be loved. The trick is to get others to love themselves. I don't feel I have lost anything. I have gained the heart I have always been searching for. "LOVE just one moment of your life like its the last moment of your life(Janis Joplin)."

BEST CONVERSATION EVER

ileanacostescu (4/30/2006 11:19:54 AM): eram la lucru alteieri/
i was at work the other day
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:20:01 AM): alaltaieri
ileanacostescu (4/30/2006 11:20:07 AM): si vin inapoi spre casa/
when i got back to the cash register
ileanacostescu (4/30/2006 11:20:13 AM): la casa asteptau/
there waiting were
ileanacostescu (4/30/2006 11:20:20 AM): o mamica cu un baietel
a mom and her little boy
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:20:20 AM): 5 veverite!!!!!/
5 squirrels
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:20:22 AM): oh
ileanacostescu (4/30/2006 11:20:39 AM): =))
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:20:40 AM): imi si imaginam/
I was already imagining
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:20:45 AM): in fata usii/
In front of the door
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:21:02 AM): YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS???
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:21:06 AM): HUH HUH?
ileanacostescu (4/30/2006 11:21:22 AM): =))
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:21:24 AM): i know, i crack me up too
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:21:30 AM): i'm dying here
ruxirandria (4/30/2006 11:21:36 AM): anyway... go on

exhausted/scared/not giving up

It's all I can do to keep from running for the hills. I don't know bout you guys but this new thing called adulthood is fucking giving me the creeps.
This week has been nothing but STRESS. From people going all awall on me to accepting a new job offer to having to quit my old one. I think my little heart might just call it quits.
If I don't end up with some stability here in a little bit I think I will officially be taken to the hospital. I don't know how much more drama and how much change I can take. I want to keep pushing on and keep making things happen. But some times its so hard to find that reason and motivation to keep you going. Even though things look promising right now I am scared shitless.
Wish me luck.

Battle of Little Orchard Fat Bottom Squirrel

YES... VICTORY IS MINE!!!!! Much like what's his name in Brave Heart, I fought my battles decently and with honor and many hours spent chiding our next door neighbour in the tree. I call her Fat Bottom Squirel of Evil Plant Eating. But I persevered, after countless hours of nerve racking and chasing the squirrel out of my patch of heaven it seems I have won. Either that or my plants have grown bigger and don't look good enough to eat any more. But I feel confident that its due to my will power to keep hanging on. Now the problem comes down to when my flowers will bud. I must battle on.

Piece of Resistaance

It only took me an hour or so to make. I honestly amaze myself sometimes. PRETTY

Time For Recipe of the Week

Twalk Amwongst Yoselves, I'll Give You A Topic

Does anybody remember the times the Dixie chicks spoke against Bush's decision to go to war in one of their songs and in the public media? Does anybody remember all the nasty rep they received? Well I think this song is about those times. A song about people trying to shut them up and about how super stressful those times must have been for them.Leave comments talk amongst yourselves. So that I might learn something to. What do ya think?


NotReady To Make Nice

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everythingBut I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell andI don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edgeThat they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it rightI probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

Ileana Who?

Unbeknowst to me I am no longer imgrant child, legal alien, proud carrier of the name Ileana Costescu. The Bush Administration and the powers of Osco Drug Pharmacies, have seen it fit to make me the female version of Keanu Reeves but with an attitude(meaning imigrant child, legal alien, proud carrier of the name Ileana Costescu). They call me Keana Costescu. My name is no longer the same name as in a Romanian fairy tale. They call me Keana Costescu. Or while I was at the dermotologist, my skin color and ethnicity changed. They call me Keana Costescu. You know the medicine they can give you and due to light and stuff it can actually darken you skin tone? But I don't think that's it. Due to the lack of skin pigment in my skin I could never pass as anything but transperent white. Even the sun won't forgive me. SPF 400 ain't got nothing on me. I still burn even under those situations.

What's the point of this ranting? MY SKIN IS DRIVING ME CRAZY. Nothing makes it happy. Something is always making it unhappy. Im ready to stuff myself or maybe make a wax version of me and put myself out of commission.

They call me Keana Costescu

The Trees Are Calling/Must Take better pics

Cheese? NO

So sunny and so nice. This is what I see when I walk out my front door. Kind of a zen like feeling. Or in my case... Do I have my keys, head, turned every light in the house off, shit my coffee just spilled, do I have my buspass, SHIT here comes the bus, RUUUUUUUUUN.

Final Product

After an hour of simmering down and cooking, this is what I ended up with. I feel as if its lacking something in the presentation. Maybe a bit of salad somewhere on that plate... That way more color would be added. Would you dig into this plate? Please let Gica know because Gica values y our opinions.

Hey, it makes me want some.
Step some number... I don't keep track.

meat or no meat

mmmmm CRUNCHAY
















What do you think? Meat or fake-o-meat

Real Image

Look in real life this is what I look like. Scary isn't it?

Easter

So what does a woman in her right mind do when she's bored at work? She starts spicing it up with people that will listen to her ramblings. So here I am at work for far more hours than I care for and the international community at my work is HUGE. That is one of the main attraction of working in this grocery store(A.K.A. Gourmet Food Store). Ok, Ok, dragging this story on far too long.
The way i entertained myself goes a little like this. If two Indian people walked up to the cash register, while I was ringing them up I would ask which one of them celebrated Easter. At which I would get this wide eyed stare, you know, the one where they don't know how to let me down gently. The one where they don't know weather to yell at me for being so ignorant or be as nice as possible. At which my smile gives me away. Yes juvenile but alltogehter fun.
Oh yeah high light of my day. My boss telling me that killing a cow isn't a moral issue. Its just business and he has to make a profit. At which I just scoffed. I think Monday I will be getting a new job. I will definetly keep you posted.

Rawwwrrrrr

I am crazy woman hear me roar... What else do you need to know about me? That basically it... Now that you know RUN!!!???????